Thursday, September 18, 2008

My journey to truth - Theism

I was a Theist till I was 14 yrs old.

My parents are Theists. They brought me up as one. I was fascinated by temples, the big banyan trees and the temple elephants. I was as devout as them and believed that God will make me pass my exams. When ever marks were low, I would go back to God and ask him to improve it next time. Frequent visits to temples were mandatory, as I had to pass my exams. I never wanted to rub on his/her wrong side. I made all attempts to please God. I would put coins in the Hundi , recite the hymns my grandma had taught me, bow to the God when ever I pass a temple, put vibhuthi on my fore head every morning and evening, act as if I was the greatest devotee of all inside any temple, I did everything I could to please him.

I was a big fan of Ganesha. I played Mridangam, and had been told that it was ganesha’s instrument. That added to my fascination. The image of ganesha was so charming for me as a kid. The stories attached to his protecting his mother and the fight with Nandi and then Shiva, and finally his head being slithered off only to be replaced by an elephants head would intrigue any kid, and I was no different. I also heard stories about his eating habits, his stomach bursting and being repaired with a snake being tied along and of his riding a mice as his vehicle, all added to my firm belief that he is a super hero. I collected his pictures and stuck them in my cup board and books.

I loved to visit the Hanuman temple in our fort. I loved the vadas they gave on every Friday. His stories were equally fascinating, though not as much as ganesha. I never liked Krishna or Rama. I infact hated Rama, on what he did to Sita. Krishna, to me he appeared as a womanizer and one who gave up on his love Radha and got married to some one. It always amused me that elders tried to give strange reasons on Rama’s and Krishna’s behavior. I never could digest them...

Having studied in Christian schools, I could never escape from the over whelming shadows of Jesus Christ and his miracles. How he fed 5000 people, his crucifixion and resurrection after 3 days. Honestly Jesus never fascinated me as a God or Godman. Moreover I never liked the way the Nuns tried to inject that belief in us.

I also had few Muslim friends, but never knew their god up close then. All I knew was their god punishes hard if u do mistakes.

By the time I was in my 8th standard, I started realizing that I was running behind myths. My brain kept saying all this is foolish, but my concept of assuming that my elders are always correct, never let me think otherwise. I kept going to temples, but I was turning an Atheist.

11 comments:

the rain tree said...

or u just being confused like me ?

Vinay said...

bhai, you turned an atheist because you think God never listened to you?

Unknown said...

till date no one have seen GOD
all is imaginary
but yaah some supernatural power is dere which controls d whole universe and just to tank dat power we created our own imaginary GODs ....

Manoj Thelakkat said...

Rain, Im not confused..Im clear..

Vinay,A non existent entity doesnt listen..

Remya,Thats what we are forced to believe.

This post was my initial thoughts,where I was a fan of few images like ganesha etc.. I still collect ganesha idols, its a hobby. I dont know if i ever saw any super power in any idol..My parents were doing that, I continued..
My next posts might give a better picture of why I turned atheist ...

Traveller said...

Manoj, Looking around into the nature, how can some one say there is no God? Even a small safety pin have a maker and his fingerprint on it.... how can someone sane beleive this universe have no maker? Theory of evolution is still not scientific, it can never be. it can be called scientific only the day you prove it in scientifically, which is not possible, as its not true.

Traveller said...

just to add, even Darwin suggested evolution theory as possibility to be worked upon!

Manoj Thelakkat said...

Traveller,
Just cos it has so much disparities and so much discrepancies, is proof enough that its not made my a single creator.Species have evolved over time, and not in a manufacturing unit of a super power. And how does one prove non-existance..

Traveller said...

Is there no disparity and descrepancy between the walkman and television made by Sony? or the eyegear and timegear of fastrack? why is it that disparity cant happen when the creator is the same?

If species have evolved over time....why not they are still evolving? where, when and why did that process stopped?

you believe a big bang created the universe....? I ve never come across an instance where a bang or an explotion creates something....we know it only destroys!

Lets see the outcome of lab test of bigbang being carried out.

everything have a beggining... u and i have. everything have. so its existance which is to be proved, not non existance. we say that nothing was there before creation....nothing to prove. but you say matter was there, energy was there etc etc.... so where did they came from? Many a times I ve felt that you guys are trying to replace the name "God" with the names "matter" "energy" etc.


open up ur eyes and say thanks to Almighty.

Manoj Thelakkat said...

Traveller,
Who says evolution has stopped ?? And shouldnt the "almighty" have been more perfect than the engineers and designers at SOny ???

I started disapproving such a power,as i felt that i dont want to believe in a sadist, who gives to some and deprives others...

"we know a bang destroys" ??? How much we do not know.. Just cos we do not know, doesnt mean we believe in a non existant "super power".

Traveller said...

Are we still evolving? The documented medical history doesnt say so about human beings?

Giving some and deprives others....He got a will for everything and a plan for everyone! Dont you know some of the poorest are the happiest in this world?

Yes, why deny something which we dont know?

Unknown said...

Well, Manoj etta, having seen so many comments on this topic, i was urged to add one as I have been doing some research on this recently! ;)

This is my Theory:

There is GOD. But what is god is the question. Some look at the tangible and call it God. Some look at the intangible and call it god.

If we are worshipping our creator, then parents are the closest to being creators. If we are looking beyond time and space, universal energy is the creator.

So is there really a conclusion? I believe that the stories of Krishna and Ganesha were created to instill certain truths in us but unfortunately, over years, they just turned into some story. Same with christians and muslims. The hindu vedas and upanishads form the basis of hinduism and sadly thats the only thing we have forgotten in the road to follow rituals. And even these ritual believers now dont understand why a ritual was there in the first place...

So my conclusion; there is no theist or athiest. There are only believers of different ideologies....