Thursday, September 18, 2008

Love Your Parents - Visit to Old Age Home

My parents mean the world to me. I don’t believe in a super power. To me the biggest power above me is my parents. There is nothing bigger or important than them.






The reason I decided to work in Palakkad, my hometown when Kavi was carrying ammu, was that when Ammu is born, our parents would be there to take care of her. She would get those values which only a grand parent can give her. We stayed there till ammu was two and a half years old. She learned more on respect and care in those years, than I can ever teach her.

It hurts me every time I read about parents being abandoned their own children. I always wondered, how can some one do it to his own parents??? Those who put sweat and blood together to bring us up???

When I joined Feed The Nation, we discussed on what we would do?

I suggested, we should visit an old age destitute home. The inspiration was from an experience we had some time back at a destitute home..This was called Karunalaya in Cochin. Kavitha, was doing her MSW and had a project visit there. She wanted me to go along on a later visit.What I saw was heart breaking. Old people, all abandoned by their kids are waiting for an early death. That was really tragic.Most of them were found in streets in fatal conditions. They were treated and many had come back to normalcy, still many were in critical condition. The feeling of loneliness, separated from families, not been shown to their grand children ; that was what was killing them...



Many of them belonged to affluent families and their kids were also well off. But they were not taken care of. They showed absolutely no hatred towards their children. Infact most of them were defending their kids.The facility was run by nuns, and they took care of those old people as their own parents. It was tough as many were not mentally stable..When I spoke to them, what they told me took me aback. They wanted no money. They wanted no clothes. All they wanted from us was to spend some time with them every week or once a month. They were missing their kids.



That’s why I suggested destitute home.. You would at least feel less guilty...

We decided to go to Karunyalaya in Bommanahalli, Bangalore.

It was ammu’s birthday and mine too …( we are separated by a day : 15th and 16th March )
The mother superior has permitted us to host the dinner for the inmates on the 16th March.There were 11 inmates and 14 others in the facility.

The entire FTN team was there. They had organized everything for Ammu. A beautiful cake, balloons and celebrations. We spend time sitting with the old inmates, just listening to them as they told us their stories. How happy they were and how they reached here. It touched us beyond what we felt it would.





Ammu cut the cake and after the birthday celebrations, we served them dinner. Simple as it was, they enjoyed it. Did I see tears in few eyes?? I don’t know. But they were touched. Ammu also was serving, and that probably added to their happiness.
We had bought new clothes to all of them. They took it from Ammu as if their grand daughter was gifting them a new dress.

When it was time, there were a lot of happy souls. They all would have had very painful memories, I’m sure. But our presence and care would have given them a night of peaceful sleep.

It was wonderful to be with those elderly ladies...

I feel ammu also carried home some good blessings from them and some lessons on care and respect..



Love Your Parents, cos you dont get a second chance .

12 comments:

Unknown said...

hats of to u MANJI
many few people r dere who thinks like u.or else all use to give grant parties and celebrate things in their own world including me.

Vinay said...

Its truly inspiring Manji... many need to learn from you.. and you are also providing a very good basement for Ammu... Hatsoff!!!

run2see said...

Good thoughts manoj and what a nice way for Ammu to celebrate her 5 years on this planet...
lets make FTN reach greater heights and strive for its better effectiveness!

Cheers and proud to be an FTN-ite
Runcy.

Ammu said...

Great deed.Thank you for setting such a wonderful example and best wishes for your future endeavors.

the rain tree said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
the rain tree said...

the sad part is, these old aged homes are the ones that is least funded or helped.

and when i had a visit to "Mother Teresa's home for the poor"(an old aged home)i was shocked to learn that a terrifying number of parents are abandoned at st mary's feast in Bangalore. wonder how they could throw them to the streets in btw the horrifying crowd.
many social organizations work around the church after the feast to gather and shelter these people who might be in a shock to believe and accept they have being left behind.

maneesha

Manoj Thelakkat said...

thanks guys for the feedbacks..

true maneesha,i feel like hitting a person,who cannot take care of his parents.

I had met an old friend sometime back. He said, he has put his dad in an old aged home,cos he was bedridden and could not fend for himself. He had to be carried to a washroom also. This guys wife refused to take care of him. He said he also doesnt let his son play with grandpa ,as he has bedsores and son might get infected.
The old man was confined to a room,with a caretaker. The care taker ,he says was an invasion into their privacy, and at the same cost,he found out an oldaged home.He does an autodebit every month to pay the bills...No visit that means....
And he was saying India has not progressed in terms of old aged care as in the USA.
Now the sad part is, the Dad was in his home town,and this guy forcefully brought him here,when his son was born.Since he and wife was working,the dad wud take care of the kid.He fell down in the washroom,when attending to the kid !!! and is bedridden since.

I told him onething as I walked out " just remember that your son is watching all this, and you will turn old one day ".

I havent spoken to him since.He might be reading this.

the rain tree said...

ah...horrible!

n on a personal level im happy that these parents don't have to live with this kind of children.im sure they will not tc of them as they feel its a burden n end up torture them too..

Manoj Thelakkat said...

he read it...

and has no remorse...

as in munnabhai, i just wish to say, Get well soon bhai....

Rajeswari said...

Well,i feel the two posts..the one on LOVE YOUR PARENTS ..and the other HAILING MOTHERHOOD..should be posted one after another(without any write ups in between)..coz theses two are related in one way or other..At one point of time..we all hail mother hood..later..we abandon them ..ille?

Traveller said...

just as someone told...let these ppl not forget that their old age is not so far.....

btw, wanna be part of your initiative, please advise.

Manoj Thelakkat said...

thanks scrawler and traveller for feedback and interest in being part of initiative...

Pls mail me on ctmanoj@gmail.com ,and we can join hands in these causes.